Couples Therapy
Marriage Counseling Ponte Vedra Psychologists

Overview

At Ponte Vedra Psychologists, we invite couples to assess their relationship satisfaction as a starting point for therapy. We use the Relationship Satisfaction Scale (16PF Couples Counseling Report) to help them organize their thoughts and feelings about their relationship. This scale, ranging from 1 (totally unsatisfied) to 9 (totally satisfied), helps you reflect on your current emotional connection and identify areas for growth. Whether you’re exploring premarital counseling, couples therapy, or divorce counseling, understanding your satisfaction level can guide our tailored approach toward eudaimonia—flourishing together. Our licensed psychologists in Ponte Vedra Beach, Florida, use this tool to foster open dialogue and set meaningful goals.

How to Use

Click on each of the nine areas of your relationship displayed in the grid below. Read the description of the area and reflect on the questions you are asked to consider. Then rate your satisfaction with each relationship area by selecting a number on the scale above.

The scale ranges from 1 to 9, with the following meanings: - 1: Totally Unsatisfied - 2: Very Unsatisfied - 3: Fairly Unsatisfied - 4: A Little Unsatisfied - 5: Neutral - 6: A Little Satisfied - 7: Fairly Satisfied - 8: Very Satisfied - 9: Totally Satisfied

Next Steps

After rating your satisfaction, share your thoughts and feelings with your partner and therapist to gain insights into your needs.

Call (904) 285-4229 to schedule an appointment with our licensed psychologists in Ponte Vedra Beach, Florida, and begin your journey toward a stronger relationship.

Helping Couples restore intimacy, passion, and commitment.

At Ponte Vedra Psychologists, we help couples better understand and improve their relationships using research-based models like Robert Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love.

What Is the Triangular Theory of Love?

Psychologist Robert Sternberg proposed that love consists of three essential elements:

• Intimacy – Emotional closeness, connectedness, and sharing
• Passion – Physical attraction and romantic or sexual desire
• Commitment – The decision to remain with someone and plan a future together

These elements can combine in different ways to form seven types of love:

Types of Love

Liking = Intimacy only
A close friendship or emotional connection without passion or commitment.

Infatuation = Passion only
Strong physical or romantic attraction without deeper emotional connection.

Empty Love = Commitment only
Ongoing loyalty without intimacy or passion—often seen in stagnant relationships.

Romantic Love = Intimacy + Passion
Emotional closeness with physical desire, but lacking long-term commitment.

Companionate Love = Intimacy + Commitment
Deep friendship and lasting commitment without physical passion.

Fatuous Love = Passion + Commitment
Quick commitments based on intense attraction, without deep emotional bonding.

Consummate Love = Intimacy + Passion + Commitment
The complete form of love that balances all three elements. This is often considered the ideal.

How We Use This Theory in Therapy

Understanding your relationship through this model helps us identify what may be missing or imbalanced. In therapy, we can:

• Reignite passion and physical connection
• Deepen emotional intimacy and trust
• Strengthen long-term commitment and shared goals

We work with you to build the kind of love you want—whether that means restoring balance or moving toward Consummate Love.

Helping Couples Communicate with Clarity and Respect

One of the most powerful tools we use in couples therapy at Ponte Vedra Psychologists is the Speaker-Listener Technique, developed as part of the PREP (Prevention and Relationship Enhancement Program) model and featured in the book Fighting for Your Marriage.

What Is the Speaker-Listener Technique?

The Speaker-Listener Technique is a simple but effective communication strategy designed to help couples talk about sensitive issues without misunderstanding, interrupting, or escalating conflict. It creates a structured and respectful environment for sharing thoughts and feelings—even during difficult conversations.

Why It Works

This method slows conversations down, helping each partner feel heard and reducing the chances of defensiveness or reactivity. It’s especially useful when emotions run high or when couples tend to talk past one another.

How It Works

The technique includes three key roles and rules:

🔹 The Speaker
- Speaks for themselves using “I” statements (e.g., “I feel overwhelmed when…”).
- Keeps the message brief and focused.
- Stops to allow the Listener to paraphrase what they heard.

🔹 The Listener
- Does not interrupt or argue.
- Paraphrases what they heard to confirm understanding.
- May ask for clarification gently, but does not respond defensively.

🔹 The Floor
- A physical object (like a card or pen) represents the “floor.”
- Only the person holding the floor may speak.
- The floor is passed back and forth to ensure balance and respect.

Benefits in Therapy and Everyday Life

Couples who use the Speaker-Listener Technique often:
- Communicate more clearly
- Feel more understood and respected
- Reduce emotional escalation and misunderstandings
- Build deeper trust and emotional safety

This technique is not just for arguments—it’s a great way to improve everyday communication and connection.

At Ponte Vedra Psychologists, we guide couples in practicing this method during therapy so they can use it confidently at home. Like any skill, it improves with practice and patience.

Bringing Deeper Self-Awareness and Connection into Couples Therapy

One of Branden’s most important contributions is what he called the Visibility Principle. According to Branden:

“To be loved, we must first be seen.”

In other words, romantic love flourishes when we feel emotionally visible—when we feel known, understood, and accepted for who we truly are.

Why Mutual Visibility Matters

Branden emphasized that true romantic love depends on mutual visibility. It’s not enough for one partner to feel seen while the other remains hidden. Love becomes truly nourishing when both people feel free to reveal themselves—and are lovingly recognized in return.

Mutual visibility:

• Reinforces emotional equality and trust
• Encourages authentic self-expression
• Prevents isolation within the relationship
• Deepens intimacy and connection over time

It sends the powerful message: “You matter. I see you. And I let you see me too.”

Visibility and the Intimacy Component of Love

Branden’s Visibility Principle aligns directly with Intimacy, one of the three essential elements in Robert Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love. According to Sternberg, intimacy is the emotional closeness that builds when partners feel deeply connected, understood, and supported.

At the heart of intimacy is the mutual experience of being seen. In fact, without visibility, intimacy cannot flourish. Emotional closeness requires emotional recognition.

When couples feel visible to each other:

• They can be emotionally honest without fear of rejection
• They feel safe sharing vulnerability and personal truth
• They experience a deepening emotional bond—the essence of intimacy

This overlap between Branden and Sternberg highlights an important truth: Intimacy isn’t built through physical proximity or shared experiences alone—it’s built through the willingness to know and be known.

How We Apply This in Couples Therapy

At Ponte Vedra Psychologists, we integrate Branden’s Visibility Principle in practical ways to strengthen intimacy:

• We create a space for safe, two-way self-revelation
• We guide couples in learning how to really see each other
• We build emotional fluency and mutual empathy
• We work on the foundation of self-esteem

Why It Matters

When visibility is mutual, intimacy grows stronger. Couples stop feeling alone in their relationships and start experiencing love as a shared emotional reality. They’re better able to support each other through conflict, celebrate each other’s growth, and navigate the challenges of life as a true team.

At Ponte Vedra Psychologists, we don’t just talk about love—we help couples live it, guided by the timeless insights of thinkers like Branden and Sternberg.